The "Fail Mary," one of the most infamously bad calls in football, took place in the 2012 NFL season when unqualified replacement refs were calling the game during a referee lockout. Three days later, the NFL settled with the Referees Association, but not before the image of one referee calling a touchdown while another, keystone-cop-like, simultaneously called an interception, became fodder for late night and sent one of the substitute refs into a mental hospital.

Fail Mary, an American tragi-comedy opera composed by Kevin Laskey and written by Cheri Magid, follows seven of these part-time referees—a policeman, a retiree, an economics professor, a data analyst, a real estate agent, an FAA controller, and a bank branch manager—as they realize their childhood dreams of being part of the sport they love at the highest of levels. But their excitement and wonder slowly turns to horror when their earnest mistake—a direct result of their inadequate training—has football fans calling for their death and a complicit NFL using them as a scapegoat. Like Friday Night Lights on television and Take Me Out on Broadway, sport becomes the backdrop for a hard-hitting and absurd story of love, betrayal, and unnecessary roughness.

Musically, Fail Mary celebrates the game with sounds recalling fan chants, TV broadcasts, marching bands, jock rock, and even liturgical chorales. It is composed for 8 soloists (1 soprano, 2 mezzos (or 1 mezzo 1 countertenor), 2 tenors, 2 baritones, 1 bass), SATB ensemble (8-40 voices), and an orchestra of 13 players (3 woodwinds doubling flute, clarinet, bass clarinet, saxophones; 1 French horn; 2 trumpets; 2 trombones; 1 electric guitar; 2 keyboards; 2 percussion.) Structurally it references football with a pre-game, four quarters and a halftime. Planned running time is 75 minutes.

Demos

Character List

Fail Mary is performed by 8 singers who play the following characters:

Principal Replacement Referees:

Head Referee (bass-baritone) a big-hearted real estate agent who crisscrossed rural Texas reffing Division 3 games; now the HEAD REFEREE

Side Judge (mezzo-soprano or countertenor) a nervous bank branch manager who’s embarrassed he only has reffing experience at the high school level, now the SIDE JUDGE

Back Judge (tenor) The most experienced of the replacement refs. In real life he works for the FAA. Now the Back Judge.

Supporting Replacement Referees/Other Characters:

Sidelined Gal (mezzo-soprano), a sideline reporter with a keen eye for the game and for injustice.

Field Judge (soprano) a data analyst/Big Baller, the face (and well, balls) of the league

Head Linesman (tenor) an economics professor/President Obama

Umpire (baritone) a policeman/Play by Play, a fratty commentator in the booth

Line Judge (baritone) a retiree/Color, an even frattier commentator in the booth

An SATB chorus of 8 or more play the following characters:

Cheerleaders

Fans

Players

Suits

Synopsis

The pregame opens in a raucous and packed pro football stadium on a Monday Night broadcast in 2012 seen by millions. We witness the infamous “Fail Mary”— the worst call in NFL history--in real time.  When a scrum goes to catch a Hail Mary pass in the game-winning play of the last seconds of the game, the overwhelmed and under-prepared Replacement Refs turn into keystone cops and make two opposing calls at the same time. One says touchdown—offense wins. The other says touchback—defense wins. Commentators, including an intrepid sidelined reporter (known as Sidelined Gal), fans, players and cheerleaders rebel, and chaos ensues.

In the first quarter, replacement Head Ref takes us back in time.  He tells us he would have been happy living life the way he always had, spending time with his family, selling real estate and officiating Division 3 games around rural Texas.  But then, he watched, heart in his throat, as the NFL, led by Big Baller and the Suits, locked out its refs during contract locations.  As the season got closer, he wondered if there would be any football at all.  And then, something extraordinary happened: the NFL contacted him. Would he be interested in trying out to be a replacement ref?  He couldn’t resist—it was his dream. It’s the dream of other small time, inexperienced refs too, including a retiree, an air traffic controller, a data analyst, an economics professor and a police officer, all of whom sign on.

The replacement refs rushed training begins, which involves drills, film study and mastering the unwieldy NFL rulebook. Head Ref and Back Judge, who officiated at the big time Division One college level, share war stories of their careers and bond over a sense of brotherhood.  Side Judge publicly expresses confidence but secretly worries that his officiating experience—which only includes reffing high school games--is going to make him look like he doesn’t know what he’s doing.  Sidelined Gal, whose own sportscasting career is blocked by the glass ceiling of the commentators’ booth, warns them that their dream is a trap.

It’s the second quarter, and the gobsmacked refs can’t believe they are actually going to officiate a Monday Night Football game. As they call penalties and try to keep the game moving, the fans and sportscasters lambast them for their mistakes. Head Ref tries to keep the "brotherhood's" moral up. Sidelined Gal sees the writing on the wall: everything she warned about is coming true.

We return to the infamous “Fail Mary” play, now seen from the refs’ perspective.  Instead of conferring, Side Judge impulsively makes the touchdown call—offense wins—while Back Judge sees the opposite: touchback—defense wins. Embarrassed and flustered, they argue in front of the crowd and TV audience. Head Ref attempts to regain order by consulting the arcane NFL rulebook, though it only complicates the situation. Suddenly, he gets a call from the video replay team who tell him to stick with the call of touchdown—offense wins. The confused and angry players walk off the field in disgust, but by the rulebook, the game isn’t over yet. Head Ref must call the players back for an unnecessary yet obligatory extra point. The whole situation is so surreal and nonsensical that no one understands exactly what happened, except Big Baller, who equates the fracas with ‘must see’ television.

In the third quarter, the refs are plunged into the terrifying and absurd Fail Mary aftermath, where they discover that football is not just a repository for dreams, but also for rage. The moment is replayed constantly on television and social media and in each clip it’s clear that the refs made a horrible mistake. Head Ref believes their best bet is to wait it out.  Side Judge maintains his conviction of what he saw.  Back Judge fixates on how they needed to discuss what happened but beats himself up for not calling an interception.  But the noise only grows.  Twitter is on fire.  Late night hosts make fun of them. Gamblers leave death threats on their voicemails.  Camera crews show up on their front lawn.  Obama demands they get their ‘real refs’ back.  It’s too much for Side Judge, who has a psychotic break.  Big Baller realizes the whole thing has jumped the shark and fires them.

The fourth quarter begins one year later with Sidelined Gal interviewing Head Ref, who has been banned from officiating at the college level. Others have suffered too—Back Judge has left football to go into disaster recovery, and Side Judge is in a psychiatric hospital.  Sidelined Gal doesn’t ask Head Ref if he made the right call.  Instead, she wants to know why he took the job in the first place when it was clear it was never going to end well.  Head Ref reminds Sidelined Gal that refs are always fall guys—it’s not a game unless half the stadium is booing you.  If he had to do it all over knowing how it would turn out, he would still say yes. Because maybe the worst thing you could do when someone offers you your dream is to not take that precious chance in the first place.